I have moved A LOT in my life, not just since I've been married but ever since I was born I've moved a lot. Moving to a new place can be extremely difficult on your emotional and mental well-being because we get overwhelmed and depressed. So here are some things that I have learned that helped me that maybe will help you too...
1. Join some sort of social circle.
For me it was church and our seminary wives fellowship, those were a given. But some women may want their circle to be a book club, a cooking class, or even a support group for moms.
2. Pick a handful of random women around your age and invite them over.
To keep the awkwardness at a minimum invite them over for something specific such as a baking night, a craft night, I personally had a tendency to do a scrapbooking night. Which worked out well because there were women that came that didn't even scrapbook but they would bring some sort of other project they were working on and work on that instead. Doing this helped take the edge off and 'break the ice'. It also gave us something to concentrate on and do with our hands as we had the silent moments of conversation.
3. Go walking.
This gives you the opportunity to meet your neighbors. Even if you are shy and not the one to walk up to random strangers, people will either come to you or at least wave to you. Over time you will learn each other's names and maybe even make friends with one or two of them.
4. If talking scares you, pick one young woman that seems kind and talkative and invite her over.
Introverts have an extremely hard time with the idea of walking up to people and starting up a conversation, so while they may not be talkers they definitely are good listeners. So if you are that person, then pick a talker and let them lead the conversation.
5. Go out in public.
Even if you don't intend to talk to anyone. Even if you pick a coffee shop every day and just sit in the same spot and read a book, you are out and around people which will take the emotional depression off your shoulders a little bit. What's even better is if you walk to this place which gets your physical happy chemicals flowing, get's you a little sunshine (vitamin D which is a happy vitamin) and it also gives you a little more exercise for the day.
6. Be open and inviting.
It's easy to keep people held at a distance when you know you will probably not be with them for the rest of your life or when you've had to let go of people too often. But that does nothing but harm to yourself. And the thing is, people notice it. People do notice when you are a person that puts up a wall and it turns people off. Because there are not very many better feelings than when someone is genuinely friendly and welcoming. So take down your wall and take the risk. Yes, you probably will have to say goodbye again, yes you may lose that friend after some time passes (the ones that continually stay in touch are the best of friends), BUT it's worth the risk. In the long run it's healthier not only for you physically and psychologically, but it's healthier for your marriage as well. You need to trust that God will take care of you and just as much as he wants a relationship with you he also wants you to have relationships with other people as well.
7. Get a job.
Whether it's volunteer work or a regular part-time or full-time job, it's so useful to be a part of these because you are actually being forced into some sort of a relationship. Often times you are given many hours with the same people, there are some amazing friendships that happen just in the workplace. This in and of itself, is a great tool for breaking the social barrier from loneliness.
*Note: You do not have to do all of these things, these are just ideas to pick from and help you out. Just pick one of them. If that one doesn't work then try another. Just keep trying, eventually you will find what works for you.
Do you have any questions or ideas about making friends after moving to a new place?
Just jot them down below in the comment section and I'll do my best to write back.
No comments:
Post a Comment