"Bible Woman"

There's a term that I kept hearing over and over again my first few months that we were in the Philippines,  'Bible Woman'. 

Everyone kept using the term as if I knew what it was, even my family...but really...I had no clue. Finally I caught on in which I explained it to someone and they confirmed my words! I was correct. We Americans tend to assume that the rest of the world does things as we do and that our way is the 'right way' when in truth it's not that it's the ultimate 'right way' but that it's just the way our culture does it. In the American culture the Pastor's wife assumes the role that is played in the Philippines as the Bible Woman. She does what the church needs her to do. Whether it's counselling, playing music, filling in for the Sunday School teacher that got sick, or leading woman's bible studies, she is 'go to girl'. The difference is that for the Bible Woman she is hired, probably single, and is obligated to do all these things because it's her actual job where as the Pastor's wife is perfectly fine to 'say no' to something and isn't paid but just obligated by her ministry position to serve alongside her husband, he's the one that's paid because he was technically the one that was hired, not the wife...it's just assumed that she'll serve in the church as well. And yes, many pastors will be hired or fired solely because of his wife in America.

I actually had forgotten about this until it hit me the other day while I was reading a book. The book is about the ridiculous expectations of Pastor's wives that can not ever be met, and as I was reading this the Filipino Bible Woman jumped into my head. You may be wondering right now, "then what does the Pastor's wife in the Philippines do?" She works. She has her own job. It's very rare for only one spouse in the home to be working. Why? Because the country is so 'impoverished' they can't afford to not work, it's what the culture expects. It's assumed that the wife will have her own full time job and she won't be nearly as obligated into working in the church as the American Pastor's wife is....that's the Bible Woman's job.

What intrigues me the most about this is the strength and heart it takes for each Bible Woman to assume her hired role. It amazed me the number of young girls and women that had such a profound desire to be a Bible Woman even with knowing the possibility that they will end up at a church with no family, friends, or a husband to be there for her. These girl's eyes gleamed with the anticipation of the ministry and it was the epitome of encouragement.

It used to be, in the States, that if a woman wanted to be in the ministry she had to marry into it. However, in the past decade or so it's gladly been changing. Women have realized that they can serve the Lord in the ministry in so many other ways without having to be married. I know of gals I went to college with that are single full-time missionaries. There are women's ministries, deaf ministries, children's ministries, writing ministries, bible study ministries, teachers, missionaries, and the list goes on! You don't have to preach to a church to be in the ministry these days and oh how refreshing it is to know that there is so much more out there that we can do for the Lord! Yes, I'm married....but it's so encouraging to know that if I weren't that there is plenty I could do in the ministry. 

Are you in some kind of ministry? If so, what is it? What have been your challenges and your life changing moments?

Ant Invasion...

About 4 weeks ago my mother's very clean kitchen was being taken over by ants. No matter what she did or how much vinegar she used (which usually works) they couldn't be kept away. As we were contemplated what to do I remembered something a friend of mine told me about a couple years ago. She mentioned mixing borax into some jam and placing it near the path of the ants and as they eat it and take it back to the others to share they then all pass away. 

So we tried it.

And you know what!?! 

It worked! 

We made sure to do it at a time that was convenient with keeping the dogs outside so as to not harm them if they were to ingest the poisoned jam also....which we had no doubt that they would have. Here's what we did.

Take a small lid or device of some sort and place a glob of jam on it. Then take a decent amount borax and mix it in. It's that simple. Then place it in the ant's pathway and watch the magic happen. It took about 30 minutes for the ants to all find their way to the jam but once they did it was like opening a free candy buffet to a bunch of 4 year-olds. 

We placed this in a corner by the front door since seemed to have been finding their way in through their...(her kitchen is right beside it).

It's been a while now and the invasion seems to have been truly ceased which has resulted in a very happy momma.

Have a good day!!!

What are some of your ant invasion stories?

One Sided French-Braid Bun

About a week ago my oldest sister and her kiddos made a short visit, so we decided to have a hair day. I presented 3 different hair-dos to my almost 10 year old niece in which she picked the one that this post is about....THUS she is the beautiful subject in the pictures.

INSTRUCTIONS for the one sided french-braid bun:

1. Using a wide-tooth comb or pick, comb all the hair to one side.

2. Start french braiding. 

*If you do not know how to french braid, there are plenty of extremely good tutorials you can find on youtube of a simple french braid. Like THIS one.

*With this side braid you will just be adding much more hair on the one side as opposed to the very little amount you will be using on the other side...and don't worry, it will turn out great!

3. Braid all the way down the hair.

4. Take the braid and roll it (like you roll up a sleeping bag. DON'T TWIST!!!) starting from the bottom to where it tightly snuggles against the nape of the neck and hold it in place with one hand.

5. Then pin it in place piece by piece on the outer edges.

6. Enjoy the happy smile on the finished product.

Split-Pea Soup

I had never even heard of split-pea soup, or even split-peas for that matter, until we were out of the country (by the way....we are back in the states now. Yay!). It's not that the natives ate a lot of split-peas, because they didn't, but I personally got into them when I was having some digestive issues. I started eating them once a day for either breakfast or supper. Finally one day my father-in-law heard me talking about split-peas and immediately, memories of him as a boy (in the states) eating his mother's split-pea soup popped into his head. He had no idea how to make it but asked me to try and make some for him. So I did some pinteresting and concocted my own recipe based on what I liked and what I had available. It turned out amazing. Yes, it looks gross -like a baby's blow-out after eating two jars of green beans- but it tastes amazing. 

So the other day I decided to make some for myself and have my mother try it (since she had never had it before) and she was pleased. AND since I had access to other devises and ingredients I 'went to town'. 

By the way:

Split-peas are extremely good for you. In just 1/4 cup of them is AT LEAST 9-10 grams of fiber. They are low in calories, high in protein and vitamins and minerals. Just click on that link and you'll be able to read all about their amazing goodness: Benefits of Split-Peas. 

INGREDIENTS:
*1 bag of dried split-peas
*6-8 cups of water (based upon how thick you want it) -I use 8.
*2 chicken bullion cubes/1 tb of chicken bullion
*LOTS of garlic (minced or powdered)
*seasonings of choice -I used parsley, pepper, sea salt and basically everything in my mother's seasoning cabinet except rosemary. And she didn't have any thyme. -LOL pun not intended.
OPTIONAL INGREDIENTS:
*bacon bits/shredded chicken/or ham + ham hock. -I used low sodium bacon bits.
*1/8cup -1/4cup shredded carrot
*chopped onions -I did not even remotely use onions....but the carrots were great.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR CROCK-POT COOKING:
*Dump the entire bag of dried peas into the pot.
*Add water and bullion.
*Add carrots.
*Add all other seasonings and meat and other desired ingredients.
*Cook on low for about 8 full hours stirring occasionally OR on high for 4-5 hours
....over cooking will not ruin the soup in any way.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR STOVE-TOP COOKING:
*Add ingredients according to the above instructions and boil/simmer in large pot for 1-2 hours (depending on type of stove). Stir occasionally.

HELPFUL HINT:
*It is unnecessary to smash the peas. If they are cooked long enough then they will naturally become 'mushy'.  -If there is any crunch to your peas then they have not cooked long enough.
*If you prefer to play it safe with your meat, then boiling it before you put it into the soup will not hurt anything.
*It tastes the best the second day after it's been put into the fridge and reheated.

Keeping Cool: 10 Easy Ways to Keep Cool While Keeping The Costs Down...

It is the end of March which means that many places are getting into their warm weather...that is if this hard winter will finally go into hibernation mode...so I have here some tips for you and others to keep safe and cool while still keeping your utility bills relatively low.

1. Only turn your air conditioner on for one hour at the hottest point of the day (early afternoon).

2. Keep your blinds and curtains completely shut all day (to block the 'greenhouse effect'), BUT leave your windows open to allow some air flow (except during your one hour of a.c.).
        *Don't leave your lights on but only use lights during necessary use.

3. Only drink refrigerated or ice water.
       *No soda as that actually DE-hydrates you.
       *Drink 8 glasses of water a day. Some more/some less depending on body size, age, and amount of fruits and veggies you eat throughout the day.
       *Some people are worried about the effect that sometimes can happen when drinking cold water when the body is too hot. -You should be fine as long as you don't guzzle it right after coming back into the house all hot and sweaty.

4. Invest in a heavy-duty ceiling or box fan. -With the use of those you may never need your one hour of a.c.
      *Using an attic fan or box fan at night does wonders with keeping the place cool for sleeping.

5. Do not use your oven except for special occasions.
      *Eat 'cold' meals: sandwiches, salads, etc.
      *OR just use one of those George Foremans for cooking certain things.

6. Eat A LOT of cold/refrigerated fruit and veggies. I know many folks that enjoy frozen fruit as well such as grapes and other berries.

7. Take 2 cold showers/baths a day. 1 to wash and 1 to rinse/cool off.
       *To conserve on water, turn it off during soaping/shampooing/shaving and turn it back on to rinse.

8. Do not use hair dryers, clothing dryers, hair irons, or clothing irons, or any other heat inflecting appliances except during mandatory times.
       *For your hair, braid it after washing and let it out after it's dry to give it a nice wave.
          -That will also give you a nice summer style.
       *Hang your clothes out to dry either around the house or outside.
       *Mist spray your clothes with water and shake them out to get out wrinkles.
       *Also leave these unplugged when they aren't being used.

     
9. Run through the sprinklers outside with your kids.
       *That not only cools you off but it also is just a lot of fun.

10. Wear light clothing. Not skimpy, but light. -There is a difference.

Please check-in on your elderly neighbors. Every year the summer time brings unfortunate deaths among the elderly from heat stroke. Often times it's the ones that didn't have anyone to check in on them and/or were so low on expenses that they couldn't use their air conditioner and didn't take precautions for it. So please check on them and make sure that they are keeping cool during those hot days as well.

I had typed in "elderly person keeping cool" and this picture had been among them. It was so cute I couldn't pass it up so I had to share it with you!

What are some inexpensive things you've found that helps keep you cool during the hot summer months?

     

Celebrating 4 Years of Marriage:One of Our Biggest Lessons.

It is so weird that it is now the month of march and just 4 years ago I said "I do" to the man I dedicated my heart to... 

One of the biggest lessons that Hubby and I have learned since getting married is this:

While for years before I even met Hubby, while we were engaged, at our wedding, and after, the phrase I constantly heard over and over again and that I actually believed to be true was the phrase "Don't go to bed angry at each other." AKA...solve your fights before going to bed. We tried that. We really, Really, REALLY tried that. And you know what? It didn't work for us. Instead it made things worse. At night when we are sleepy we get grumpy and emotionally and mentally exhausted which then made our fights even worse because our grumpiness and emotions are high and we aren't thinking clearly because of sleep deprivation. That doesn't help when you are trying to be calm and rational thus we would just keep getting angrier. Finally we tried something new, something Hubby had been wanting to do for awhile..."Let's sleep on it." 

We decided to stop our fight once it got to a certain point and instead go to sleep. Yes, I (being the crazy emotional one) would still be awake for another hour sulking while he was vast asleep...but we did stop fighting and I eventually did go to sleep. The next day, since we slept on it, we were thinking much clearer about the situation at hand. Then by the afternoon and getting out of work we realized we were able to talk about the subject again, so to keep ourselves in check we went out in public to talk. It didn't matter where, as long as we went somewhere public to sit down with a pencil and paper at hand to discuss our issue in a very rational and calm way so that we would be able to talk through it. And you know what? It worked like a charm! Since we weren't sleepy we were thinking clearly. Since we were in public we stayed calm and rational. And since we had a pencil and paper in our hands to list out and discuss our issue completely through we were successful. Then we would pray together and go home happy, apologetic, and in understanding of one another -something we couldn't do when sleepy. 

So, ever since that first time, I quit repeating the phrase "Don't go to bed angry" and we continued to just 'sleep on it' and give it time and then go out and discuss it. Since then I will say or write to people, "Figure out what works for you and as long as it is morally right, do it. Don't worry about what others think of you, just do what works for the two you." Why is this much better? Because everyone is different and so while for probably most couples it is a great rule to follow 'to not go to bed angry at one another', it may not work for everyone, like us. So our biggest lesson ever was figuring out what worked for us instead of doing what everyone else says to do.

P.S. Yes, ever so often we have been so upset that it took two whole days before we would come together and discuss it, but eventually we always do and it always ends the same happy and resolute way. By the way, we would never send the other out to the couch to sleep, we still slept in the same bed no matter how upset we were. We would still talk about other things as well, just not the subject that got us fighting until it was time to discuss it in the way I described above.

What are some things that you and your spouse found that works well for you? 

Please keep your comments bellow morally clean and appropriate considering this tender subject.

Cardigan Make-Over.

I had this white cardigan that I got a couple years ago that just wasn't 'making the cut'. When it arrived in the mail and I pulled it out of it's box the first thing I thought was how much longer it looked than in the pic online (probably because models have to be AT LEAST 5' 7" while I am not even 5' 2"). So while yes I loved that it was white and had quarter sleeves the cardigan always looked kind of shabby on me. But finally after sifting through Pinterest the other day I saw a pin that gave me an idea. The pin itself was something that I would never wear, but it was an idea that I could use for something else that would look a lot more tasteful. So I went to work on my shabby cardigan and I am very happy with the results.

I can wear this casually over another tshirt or tank-top. OR I can even wear it over something with a collar such as my black sleeveless collared dress I have. Here is what I did.

1. Turned my cardigan over and cut half of the back off.

2. Put it on and played around with how I wanted it to lay when cris-crossed.

    *I didn't want it to be immodest and so I kept playing with it to find the right fit.

    *Clip that in place.

3. I then took it off and pinned the edges together.

4. Then I cut off the remaining fabric as you see above.

5. Sewed the pinned corners together.

6. Put it on, tucked the back up a little bit, and smiled.

What are some things you've found to change your cardigans into?

Making Friends in a New Place.

I have moved A LOT in my life, not just since I've been married but ever since I was born I've moved a lot. Moving to a new place can be extremely difficult on your emotional and mental well-being because we get overwhelmed and depressed. So here are some things that I have learned that helped me that maybe will help you too...

1. Join some sort of social circle. 

For me it was church and our seminary wives fellowship, those were a given. But some women may want their circle to be a book club, a cooking class, or even a support group for moms.

2. Pick a handful of random women around your age and invite them over. 

To keep the awkwardness at a minimum invite them over for something specific such as a baking night, a craft night, I personally had a tendency to do a scrapbooking night. Which worked out well because there were women that came that didn't even scrapbook but they would bring some sort of other project they were working on and work on that instead. Doing this helped take the edge off and 'break the ice'. It also gave us something to concentrate on and do with our hands as we had the silent moments of conversation.

3. Go walking.

This gives you the opportunity to meet your neighbors. Even if you are shy and not the one to walk up to random strangers, people will either come to you or at least wave to you. Over time you will learn each other's names and maybe even make friends with one or two of them.

4. If talking scares you, pick one young woman that seems kind and talkative and invite her over.

Introverts have an extremely hard time with the idea of walking up to people and starting up a conversation, so while they may not be talkers they definitely are good listeners. So if you are that person, then pick a talker and let them lead the conversation.

5. Go out in public.

Even if you don't intend to talk to anyone. Even if you pick a coffee shop every day and just sit in the same spot and read a book, you are out and around people which will take the emotional depression off your shoulders a little bit. What's even better is if you walk to this place which gets your physical happy chemicals flowing, get's you a little sunshine (vitamin D which is a happy vitamin) and it also gives you a little more exercise for the day.

6. Be open and inviting.

It's easy to keep people held at a distance when you know you will probably not be with them for the rest of your life or when you've had to let go of people too often. But that does nothing but harm to yourself. And the thing is, people notice it. People do notice when you are a person that puts up a wall and it turns people off. Because there are not very many better feelings than when someone is genuinely friendly and welcoming. So take down your wall and take the risk. Yes, you probably will have to say goodbye again, yes you may lose that friend after some time passes (the ones that continually stay in touch are the best of friends), BUT it's worth the risk. In the long run it's healthier not only for you physically and psychologically, but it's healthier for your marriage as well. You need to trust that God will take care of you and just as much as he wants a relationship with you he also wants you to have relationships with other people as well.

7. Get a job.

Whether it's volunteer work or a regular part-time or full-time job, it's so useful to be a part of these because you are actually being forced into some sort of a relationship. Often times you are given many hours with the same people, there are some amazing friendships that happen just in the workplace. This in and of itself, is a great tool for breaking the social barrier from loneliness.

*Note: You do not have to do all of these things, these are just ideas to pick from and help you out. Just pick one of them. If that one doesn't work then try another. Just keep trying, eventually you will find what works for you.

Do you have any questions or ideas about making friends after moving to a new place? 

Just jot them down below in the comment section and I'll do my best to write back. 

What Women Want

This is an age old question that men joke about and women wish was easy to explain, there was even a movie about this very topic. But here is my answer, and it represents women around the entire world. Women want love, beauty, safety, and hope.

Love.

We women will go great lengths in life to find and/or hold onto love. Whether it's from a man, a family member, or a friend...we want it. Without love in our lives we become bitter, cynical, and hatefully desperate. We see the woman stay with the abusive man and answer that the reason why is because "she loves him." and in that one little line she is silently screaming out that she hopes he loves her too. We see women drop everything they are doing and drive miles and miles to go be with their friend that is in pain and suffering. That is love. A common phrase we are hearing in the married world lately is this, "Women need love, men need respect." And we find that when we women aren't feeling loved from our husbands, we become bitter and resentful over it...thus not producing any respect. When we women feel as though our friend we loved so dearly has betrayed us, what do we do? Well let's just say it's rare to find a woman that will forgive her friend right away without any hesitation. That actually has to do with loyalty which in a woman's mind translates to this, "If you loved/cared for me, then you would be loyal. If you break that loyalty and trust then you obviously don't love me." And THAT is why it irks us so much when someone breaks our loyalty. Why? Because we want love. We need love. We feel so utterly hopeless without it. BUT, there is one that we can ALWAYS count on loving us and that's Christ. No matter how little of people you may have in your life, Christ will give you all the love you need.

Beauty.

There are many stories and pictures we see of what women go through in all sorts of places in the name of beauty. They will go into debt and spend thousands of dollars to be cut open and have their looks altered. They will tan their skin, bleach their skin, put cream after cream on, watch hair and makeup tutorials, and in some tribal cultures we even see women lengthen their necks. And why do we do these things? For beauty. When a woman doesn't feel remotely beautiful she loses.....hope. Even when a woman has never seen herself in a mirror, she will still do things in the name of beauty. Why? I have no idea, but we do. So men and women, please tell your wives, friends, sisters, mothers, and daughters that they are gorgeous and then tell them exactly what you think is so gorgeous about them. Don't just tell them once (this goes especially for you men) and then think that they will always remember that, no, you need to tell them on a regular basis.

Safety.

I recently read a "Dear Abby" letter and reply on one of the popular news sites. The letter was about a mother and daughter and how the middle aged mother would start an argument with her adult daughter and then decide she doesn't like what her daughter's opinion is and stop the car in a very dangerous area, make her daughter get out, and drive off. Apparently, she had done that more than once. I am a little different than the majority of folks I guess because I felt the daughter needed to forgive her mother and figure out a way to dodge the arguments and take control of the situation. Instead, I read hundreds of comments of women bashing the mother and saying that the daughter should cut ties with her for putting her life in danger like that. I thought that was a bit extreme but it got me thinking, we women truly do make our decisions based upon whether or not we feel our own self, or our loved ones, are safe. We will break off a relationship with a guy that we feel wouldn't protect us, we would cut ties with a friend that put us in harm's way, we won't live in a scary part of town if we had the means to live somewhere else, we will even keep some sort of weapon near us all in the name of 'feeling safe'. So men, show your gal that you will protect her. Prove to her that she is safe with you and that you would do whatever possible to keep it that way...you will win thousands of brownie points for it.

Hope.

This, in my opinion, is the most important of all. In my mind, when a women loses hope in something she gives up. Some even give up their life over it. Hope is an enormously important and necessary thing to life. It's why we trust, why we love, why we get up each morning and pick out our outfit and go to work or make breakfast for the kids, it's hope. We hope that this day brings us something better, we hope 'this person' loves us, we hope we'll have a long and happy life with the man we say "I do" to, we hope. It's the real reason why the abused woman keeps returning to her jerk of a husband, hope. She hopes he loves her. She hopes he'll change. She hopes she can stop it from happening again. Hope. It's the reason we get up in the morning and go to bed at night, hope. Without hope all reason is gone. And you know what gives us hope? God. God is love and God is hope. He gave us his son because of hope and love. Oh how powerful those two things really are. 

So the next time you hear this conversation, "What do women want?" "I don't know and I don't think they even know." Tell them that all we want is love, hope, beauty, and safety. 

Here is a little funny I found for your day:

Messy Braided Gibson-Tuck

The Gibson-Tuck is not the name I would have chosen for the up-do in the back, however it is it's name thus I shall not change it. It's a popular up-do a girl can find all over Pinterest, however I've never done this for my blog readers nor with the french braid, so I thought it would be a fun style to show.
I recently had my hair layered, and unfortunately that presented a challenge with certain up-dos. After I was almost ready to pull my hair out this morning the idea popped in my head of braiding it on top first, which would solve my dilemma of the shorter layers around my face from falling out. Sure enough, it solved my problem.

Instructions:
1. Using your bristle brush, brush your hair towards the side.
2. Start french braiding from one of the corners of your scalp (above eyebrow). How to french braid bangs
    *Don't make it tight, but instead keep it slightly loose.
    *Some of these braids need to be very clean and precise, this one doesn't. So try not to let a "part" show.

3. Behind your ear, pin your braid securely with an 'X' style and then place some sort of decorative devise over it.
4. Using a hair-tie, tie the top 3/4ths of your hair at the top of your neck.
5. Do a 'pull-through'. How to do a 'pull-through'
6. Now grab ALL of your hair and bring it up and tuck it in pinning it snugly in place.

7. You may take whatever other hair decorative devices and pin them in wherever you like and walk away with a big smile ready to take on the day.

To read some of my other hair posts click on any of these below:
Natural Dry-Shampoo
Unheated Curls
1 Year After 'No-Poo'
Double Twist
French Twist