-Modest AND Stylish Women.
When I was a girl I remember getting so upset at my mother for not allowing me to wear the sleeveless shirts or the short skirts like all the other girls in class wore. Not that she has anything against sleeveless tops, but I was a scrawny little thing and any sleeveless top would show everything on me. But today, I am very thankful to her for teaching me how to be modest. Then there are my sisters whom I always looked up to when growing up because to me, they were cool, they were stylish, they dressed the way I wanted to dress...and they were still modest.
Throughout my life I've been surrounded by great women whom just want their young girls to have some respect not only for others but for themselves too. When shopping or putting an outfit together I most always ask myself, "What is comfortable, modest, appropriate for the occasion, and stylish?" When dressing up for special occasions I like to throw, "What is classy?" in there as well. So today, I have put together a plan to make it easier to figure out how to be...in a nutshell....Modest.
The Basics. Modesty 101:
1. If you want to show some skin then choose only one part and leave the rest alone.
Such as the shoulders, if you want to show your shoulders/arm then don't wear something too short. If you want to wear a dress/skirt that just perfectly hits the knees then try to cover most of your upper body...again, occasion is everything. Keep that in mind.
2. The Ladies.
Cover your girls. Make sure that if you are wearing something just slightly above your breasts that you put your hand over your top when you bend over so your ladies don't play peak-a-boo with everyone. Having a good stock in camis or undershirts is a good idea because the majority of tops today are slightly too low. Even some of my camis push the limits so I invested in some of those snap-onto-your-bra-straps cloths and just use those along with my low cami...they work great.
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| This women added a cute color contrast to her low vneck top with her camisole underneath. |
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| This lady is very blessed with bosoms from the larger family, she covered them up tastefully with style and class. She looks adorable! |
3. The Midsection.
Covering your stomach and/or lower back is not just modest but it's also appropriate and classy. There are very, VERY few moments in life when showing your stomach and/or lower back fits in with the circumstance and regular everyday life is not one of them...swimming is.
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| This woman has great curves, but she isn't showing them in an appropriate, classy, modest, or tasteful manner. If she simply put pants on that came slightly higher and that fit her actual size then she would look a lot better. Making her shirt come farther down (past her belt loops) would also help add to a more modest look. |
4. The Legs and Toosh.
Contrary to some women out there, I do believe that wearing pants is
perfectly acceptable and as long as the style is appropriate for the occasion and the pants aren't so tight that they show your panty-lines or any other lines then you're fine. The pants need to also come high enough that they won't show your butt crack or undies when bending over.
When it comes to the length of a dress or skirt, I find that going no shorter than the top of the knees is the way to follow. However, I am personally fine with skorts being above the knees since they have built in shorts which help....errr....control things. Or leggings/skinny jeans under a short skirt.
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| Too Short unless worn with leggings. |
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| WAY Too Short |
Dressing two sizes too big for your figure can make a lady look sloppy, unkept, unclassy, and inappropriate. But, if a female's clothing is so tight that lines underneath can be seen then that is just as bad...if not worse. Dressing your clothes to fit your body is the key. The clothing needs to smoothly and effortlessly glide over your skin. If you can't breath....then that is a pretty good sign it's too tight...unless it's a wedding dress.
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| Too loose and drab. |
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| Just right. Shows her figure but in a classy, modest, and stylish way. |
Meshing Style with Modesty. Modesty 102:
1. Find the things that are 'in-style' and wisely pick and choose what can easily be worked into your modest wardrobe. Examples of those things would be belts warn around the waste, scarves, your boots/shoes, the colors you choose, prints chosen, etc.
These two ladies did a great job at being stylish and modest.
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| This, in my personal opinion, is a big fat NO. While yes this is modest, it is also out-dated and unflattering. A way to spice up the dress is to shorten it to the knees and switch the jacket to a blue-jean one with maybe a blue-ish or brown belt worn around the waste. |
2. The type of clothing chosen easily makes a difference.
Think of the classic pair of jeans. In the 80's and early 90's high wasted, straight legged, oddly colored jeans were the usual style. However, today those would not be in style. Today's jeans are perfectly acceptable...as long as they are appropriate for the occasion and aren't too tight or too loose.
Dressing for the Occasion. Modesty 103:
1. The occasion makes all the difference.
It would be considered, by anyone, inappropriate to wear holy jeans, flip-flops, and a hoody at a White House banquet. But when just chillin' with your friends at home, it is perfectly acceptable. It truly would be considered immodest to not base your outfit for the occasion. I would never wear workout clothes to church or on a date with my husband, but to the gym or working out...that is the time to wear them.
2. If you can't decide what will go best with the occasion then ask others what they are wearing.
The key is to not stand out...unless it's because you are so gorgeous that it just shines out of you. But being too flashy or sloppy is not a good kind of 'standing out'.
3. Every church/area is different with how they dress, so choose what modestly fits in with the church crowd.
Some churches dress more on the casual side for services while others like to dress up. Personally, I do not find either of those to be right or wrong but that that is simply how their church 'culture' is.
4. When in doubt, over-dress.
It is better to be 'over-dressed' than to be 'under-dressed' for an occasion.
Lastly, and most importantly...
The Heart's Intention. Modesty 104:
1. Only outwardly matching the 'criteria' for the occasion and guidelines for modesty isn't fulfilling true modesty.
"For man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart." I Samuel 16:7b.
Sure, we can match all the outward criteria, but if we are going out with a wrongful attitude then we may as well be naked for all the good it does us. (I am not telling you to go out naked but instead to check your attitude first before going out).
2. A woman can still be sexual but be dressed in complete modesty.
Imagine a woman in a dress covering every part of her body except her neck, face, hands, and feet. Now imagine her swaying herself around provocatively and leaning in towards others in a seductive manner, bending over with her rump in the air, and batting her eyes at every person coming towards her...is that modest? No, because her heart is not focusing on God but instead focusing on how others view her...which brings us to number 4.
4. Dressing to please others is not what modesty is meant for.
Women can be very vicious with one another. I once heard a woman say that women do not dress for men but for other women, meaning that our husband or boyfriend can approve of and adore our outfit all we want, but if other women do not like our outfit then we are more than likely not going to wear it again. We seem to be in constant competition with one another trying to be the most fashionable and the most attractive but what we should be doing instead is setting our hearts to please God and God alone. When we are succeeding at that then we will not care so much about what other's think of our outfit but instead we would have a more appropriate amount, and reason, for approval.
Why is it so important to dress modestly?
Let's throw aside the usual answer about trying to be courteous and help others to 'not stumble' and instead think about the other reason. We are women, we want respect just as much as we want love. One of the biggest ways to gain good respect that brings us an appropriate reputation is through our modesty. It is very difficult to respect a woman that dresses in a provocative way that is distracting to who she really is, should we respect her anyways? Absolutely. But unfortunately not many people think that way. So, to gain respect and a reputation for 'class' we must take matters into our own hands and try to do what we can...and what we can do is control our heart's attitude and our apparel.
Do you have any questions about what may be considered modest or appropriate? Just write your question, concern, or encouraging statement below in the comment section. I will be eagerly awaiting them and excited to write you back.
For some adorable sites with stylish, classy, and modest outfits you can click on any of the following...
...and for pants and jeans those are easy to find anywhere as long as they fit appropriately.
*Please note: This is just my opinion. Just one young woman's opinion out of millions, and if you disagree with me in any way then that is perfectly okay. I will not judge nor should anyone else.
Happy Shopping!
